Bringing home baby | those sweet early days

Top recs from your new mom friend 🫶

Congratulations Mama!!! You did it. And I'm so dang happy for you. Regardless of how it all went, you made it. It's time to bring baby home and start your lives together. Take. All. The. Pictures. And videos. This time is one you won't want to forget! Here are some tips for how to navigate those early days at home.

Day one - oh baby. The day you bring your baby home will be the most special, beautiful and scary day ever. Take it easy on yourselves - you’re all new at this! Everything will feel scary the first time you do it and that’s okay. Try to keep the environment as peaceful and relaxed as you can - for baby and for you!

• My in-laws kept our two dogs for the first week so we could focus all our energy on baby. This really helped reduce our load while making sure the pups were getting all the attention and love, too - they were our first babies, after all! Think about anything that might make your life easier while you are adjusting to your new normal.

• For me that also meant limiting visitors to only immediate family and the closest of friends. My hormones were wild so I only wanted to see people who I was comfortable with seeing me cry. Or milk through my shirt!

• Newborns also can’t handle a ton of stimulation at once so try to keep that in mind!

How to handle visitors. I got pregnant with my first in March 2020 so you can take my advice with a grain of salt knowing that I was absolutely petrified of my sweet little nugget getting COVID. But, honestly, even with my second, I found those first few months to be particularly anxiety inducing when it comes to germs. Here's how I approached it, if it's helpful to hear.

• I sent a text to both of our immediate families late in my pregnancy to let them know what my OBGYN was recommending re: flu shot, COVID booster and TDAP booster for all visitors. Anyone who loves you and your growing family should be happy to do anything they can to help keep baby safe and healthy. And if they don't, that's obviously their choice, but to me that just meant they didn't get to breathe on my precious newborn.

• This may be a new muscle for you - just remember that this is YOUR BABY and what you say goes. Be unapologetic about it. There's a reason you have the "mama bear" instincts right now to protect baby - it's because your baby NEEDS protection right now. They have not had a chance to build up their immune system yet. You are their best protection.

• If you need it, I found this article from John Hopkins Children's Hospital to be really helpful. It clearly lays out the risks and WHY it's so important to take precautions around a newborn. I do not want to frighten you but it is important to know how serious it could be if a baby under 3 months gets a fever - it automatically means a trip to the hospital and usually a spinal tap workup, because it can be SO serious if they get an infection.

• The TLDR for my approach with visitors is:

  • Always have people wash their hands before holding baby. Washing hands is better than hand sanitizer although sanitizer is better than nothing.

  • Sick visitors are not welcome. Even a sniffle or cough for an adult could be an entirely different situation for a newborn. It's not worth the risk.

  • Have visitors wear a mask while holding baby. We all still have them around from COVID. Why not just take the extra precaution for those early visits. We'd let our friends and family take them off for a quick picture, but otherwise would have them wear masks while holding baby.

  • And when possible, sitting outside was always my preference. Makes for better pictures too!

This too shall pass. Those first few weeks at home, just do whatever you have to do to get by. This time is THE BEST but it is also survival mode. Don’t worry about keeping the house clean or getting ready every day. Take care of yourself and take care of your baby. That’s it. A few tips to help you enjoy this time a bit more:

• Don’t feel bad about leaning on your partner for baby’s other needs (and yours!) like bath time, diaper changes, laundry, groceries/meals, etc. Your job is recovering, sleeping and feeding the baby if you're breastfeeding and that is PLENTY. Take as much help - and as many pictures - as you can. These days pass quickly and slowly and believe it or not you will miss the tiny babe days, round the clock feeds and all.

• [If breastfeeding] Just because he doesn’t have boobs, that doesn’t mean Papa can’t help! In the early days Ricky would help me latch my first every single feed while I was still getting the hang of it. Especially in the hospital with all of the cords on both of us, I felt so awkward maneuvering his little body and particularly his head! Standing over me, Ricky had a better angle and would kind of gently roll baby on when he opened up his mouth wide (like a yawn). Rick also burped him to give me a break, spoonfed me if I was hungry, filled up my water, put pillows behind me, etc. etc. Do not feel like this is “your duty” just because you’ve got the goods!

  • With baby #3 this was not always possible or practical because Ricky was running after our toddlers but he made an effort every single day to check in on ME and make sure I had water, food, time to shower and anything else I needed to do.

• And if you're not breastfeeding, DEFINITELY get Papa and any other support people involved in feeding baby. Great opportunity for bonding and for you to catch a little break now and then! Let your partner take the night shift so you can get uninterrupted sleep - there is no reason this should fall exclusively to you and your body needs rest to heal. Even if you have the smoothest delivery of all time, your body will require MONTHS to heal.

• I also made an effort to recognize when my husband was doing things well with baby. It started in the hospital when he’d change diapers, get baby dressed, etc. I’d always say “good job, Papa!” No idea why I started doing it but I now have a theory that maybe this makes dads want to help more instead of being made to feel like they’re never doing things the “right way” like mom does it. It’s possible that I’m just blessed with a helpful husband but I don’t think it hurts to build up your spouse - it’s all new for him too! See it as something you're both learning together, and remember you are a team.

  • Now that we have 3 kids I'll say this is maybe the most important thing - remember you're a team, make time for each other and remember it's the two of you vs the kids, not the two of you vs each other!

  • And the more you let your partner get in there from day 1, the stronger his bond will be with the kid, the more you will be able to do away from the baby, and the better off your entire family will be quite frankly so you aren't carrying the entire load yourself!

Capture these moments. If you're like me, you may not be feeling "camera ready" right after birth. Get in the pictures anyway, mama. Take all the selfies with your baby, take those videos with your over the top baby talk voice and capture this moment in time. You don't need to post them on social media or even send them to anyone else. They're for you. Your baby will wake up bigger each and every day! When I'm away from my kids, these are the videos I watch and they make me tear up every single time.

• Often times moms are the ones taking the pictures instead of being in them. Get an inexpensive tripod ($15 on Amazon) so you can set it up in baby's room while you're playing, feeding, etc. I have sooo many every day videos like this now from all three kids that I truly treasure.

• And talk to your partner if you start feeling like you have tons of cute pictures of them with baby and none of yourself. I found with my husband he's not someone who is constantly taking pictures of himself or posting selfies (lol) so it truly did not occur to him until we talked about it.

• Every time I left the house in the early days, we'd take a picture. We didn't do it often, so it was worth documenting! Mama is dressed? Picture. Mama washed her hair? PICTURE.

Get into a routine. After those first few weeks my biggest advice is to get into a routine. I swear by Moms on Call and have followed their recommendations with all three babies. My babies loved a routine and for me as a FTM, it helped to know that the middle of the night feeds will come to an end (and soon!) and to know when to schedule things like pediatrician appointments or even visitors so baby is fed and happy. I'm also a working mom so I quite literally NEEDED my babies on a routine for when I went back to work so I could continue breastfeeding as long as possible.

• We never had to do “sleep training” or "cry it out" with any of our babies

  • Tripp, our firstborn, started sleeping through the night at 3 months

  • Brooks at 5 months

  • And baby girl Kennedy at 2 months! And then a backslide at 4/5 months..... Baby sleep is weird!

  • I 100% credit MOC because the schedule helps them get all the milk they need during the day and they stop waking up for it at night. They also learn how to put themselves to sleep, which is covered in MOC.

• One note on MOC / schedules - you do not need to follow the times exactly, especially early on. We started trying the schedule around 2.5 weeks and would start the day on time and from there, kept it in mind while letting baby's cues take the lead. Babies go through a lot of growth spurts so if baby was hungry early or sleepy early, we went with that no matter what time the clock said. As baby gets older, they’ll do better with the times. Don’t stress too much about it.

  • By 2 months, my first became a little alarm clock and would be ready for his feeds RIGHT on time (seriously, within 5 minutes!) and really followed the schedule. It took us time to get there though and some days were better than others!

• The Wonder Weeks app is pretty cool and helps you keep an eye on developmental “leaps” which can explain when baby is fussier than usual. During those times, I didn’t mind giving Tripp extra “snacks” even though MOC says not to do that. This is something that I let go with baby #2 and I did not check it nearly as often, simply because I had less free time. Check it out if you're interested and ignore it if you're not!

• We also do not do baths daily like MOC recommends. We typically do every few nights, unless someone has a massive blowout or spends a lot of time outside that day. All to say - don’t feel like you have to follow ANY advice (including mine!!!) to the letter. Do what works for you and your sweet little family. I think people get intimidated with Moms on Call and think it's really strict but it's only as serious as you make it.

Where should baby sleep? We found it easiest with all three babies to start out with a bassinet in our bedroom for the first few weeks. We were both on leave from work and I was breastfeeding so I would get up to feed baby in the middle of the night and then could wake my husband to burp, change, swaddle and put baby back to bed. Once my husband returned to work, baby and I moved into the nursery where we had his crib and a daybed set up for me.

• It's hard to anticipate how long you'll want to have baby in with you, and how long you may want to sleep in the nursery, if you have that option. Every baby is different and every family is different - just see how it goes. If it's in your budget I'd recommend having a bassinet to start in your room just so you have the option, but you can absolutely start baby in a crib from day 1. All that matters is that baby is in a safe place for sleep!

• I personally was terrified to fall asleep with the baby in my arms, so I always would sit up with my feet off the bed to feed in the middle of the night. I'd also read on my phone to keep myself awake during this time, and frequently made random Amazon purchases that I would promptly forget about until the package arrived. Do whatever you need to do to keep you and baby safe for these late nights feeds. And if you're not BF, make sure your partner is sharing the load, and the bonding time, that comes with these late nights!

How long do I let baby cry? This was a REALLY tough thing for me as a new mom. There's so much conflicting information out there about letting babies cry, at night especially. Moms on Call had great guidance on this topic so after those early newborn days, we would try to give baby at least 1-2 minutes to settle before rushing to his side. And most times, sure enough, he'd go right back to sleep on his own. As they get older, you up the time by a few minutes and eventually you will learn what the serious cry is vs. a "complaining" cry that is just fussing.

• At first though, a newborn cry means they need something - maybe just you! Maybe hungry! Maybe wet diaper! Maybe no reason at all! Isn't parenting fun!!!

• As they gain weight and get bigger, you can give them space to self soothe, IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE with that. This is something that is really up to you and your personal preference. Don't let anyone tell you you're spoiling your baby or ruining their sleep habits if you choose to rock them back to sleep, or feed to sleep. And if you decide to go full "cry it out" mode, you are not a heartless parent despite those spirited tirades you'll surely start to see on social media. Follow your mama heart. Try things and know if they don't work, you can always try something else!

• I will say by following Moms on Call and allowing both our boys to learn how to self soothe once they hit the appropriate age, they both turned out to be really great sleepers. Every baby is different and this approach may not be your thing, but if you're struggling just know there are great resources to help!

What do I do with my baby all day!? At first, you’ll be all the entertainment baby needs and the wake windows will be super short. You can start doing short bouts of tummy time from day 1 but you won’t need much for entertainment. Here are some things to have in your back pocket!

• Skin to skin time. Your nurses will probably tell you about this in the hospital but if they don't, I highly recommend reading up on the benefits! It's so great for baby, for you AND for your partner to do this when you come home. It will help you both regulate in those early days and it's been proven to be beneficial for dads too. All it means is removing the clothes in between you and baby so you're literally "skin to skin." There are special shirts you can buy too, if you want.

  • For me, I loved starting each day with a skin to skin feeding while I was on maternity leave. I typically change baby's diaper and strip off their pjs and nestle them inside of my pajama top or robe to keep the rest of their body warm.

  • Whenever possible I'd typically hand baby off after to Papa to get some of that sweet snuggle time too. Aim for at least once a day but there's really no limit here! And as long as you can keep it going is great - I did it with both boys until I had to go back to work and had less time in the mornings.

  • After a shower or bath is a great time for this too. You won't want to be wearing a ton of perfume or anything that would take away from that sweet new baby smell.

• Talk to baby! And I don't mean just telling them they're the absolute cutest babe in the world - although of course, do that too. Start telling them about the world from day one! Walk them around and give them a tour of your house. Point things out to them outside. Tell them what they're hearing when birds are chirping or dogs are barking. This is something I was much better about the second time around, after getting into the habit with my first. I know it sounds ridiculous but I really do think babies understand SO much more than you'd ever expect!

  • Before I change baby's diaper, I will literally say something like: "Okay, I'm going to lay you down and change your diaper now! First we take off your jammies. One leg, two legs!" And before we go to the doctor, just like I would with my toddler, I'll tell baby: "We're going to see Dr. Jessica today! She's going to check you out and make sure everything looks good, and then you will get a shot. It will hurt for a second but Mama will be right there with you!"

  • Every day we give baby (and, now toddler) their "daily briefing." If we're going to see family that day, even at 5 days old I'll excitedly tell baby "Your G is coming to see you today! She loves you so much and can't wait to hold you and take you for a walk!"

  • I tell my babes each and every day of their lives how much Mama and Dada love them. And I swear, the way that they'd look up at me and smile it really felt like they knew what I was saying, even at just a few months old. And maybe they didn't - but what does it hurt to say it anyway!

• Break out those books! Yes, again, before you think that they could possibly understand what you're reading to them. It's never too early! Reading with babies has been proven to improve language skills and development in the long term. Make this a part of your routine from day one!

  • Here are some of my favorite book picks.

• Mirrors are your best friend. Babies love looking at themselves in mirrors from an early age. Play a little peekaboo and make silly faces, especially those first few months. You might even catch a baby smile or giggle - absolute cutest sound IN THE WORLD.

• Step outside. Even if you don't have time to go for a full walk, stepping outside is calming for baby and frankly, for you too. Just make sure to keep baby out of direct sunlight until they're about 6 months when you can use baby sunscreen.

• Water, water, everywhere! If baby is fussing and you just don't know what to do, try a quick bath! You can even just run warm water in your sink and dip their head in for a quick little shampoo and head massage. It's super soothing for baby and will help pass some of that time until the next feed or nap.

• Lovevery Kits - Once our boys started getting more alert (around 2 weeks), we started using the first Lovevery kit. These subscription kits come with toys for babies specifically at that stage (i.e 0-3 months) and tons of info for parents about different milestones, etc. Not necessary by any means, but if you want ideas of what to do with baby during awake time, these make it very easy and all of the toys are great quality. Put it on your registry! We saved everything from my first, stored in their boxes and are loving them again now for baby #3.

  • I now have a code for LOVEVERY which is crazy - LOVEITSMAMAMEG20

    • You could absolutely team up with a friend or family member and split the cost and share

• Check out Pinterest for more easy, fun baby activities. Pinterest is my mama holy grail. I always say I'm a Pinterest mom and not because I think I'm "Pinterest perfect" because there is NO perfection in parenting. Read that again, mama. To me, being a Pinterest mom means I'm not alone in this journey. My husband and I don't have to come up with every idea by ourselves - Pinterest is LITERALLY FULL OF THEM. Seriously, millions of ideas. And most of them are easy to set up and utilize things you already have in your house. When I need an activity, I'll search Pinterest for "easy baby activities + the number of months" and BAM, there are a bunch of things to try.

  • 📌 I've saved a ton of my favorite ideas here if you want a place to start. 📌

Take care of YOU. I remember with my first wondering, when do I brush my teeth? I'm not "going to bed" since I'll be up all night??? It can feel disorienting, for sure, but those cluster feeding round the clock nights don't last forever. I found that taking showering every day and taking 5 minutes every morning and evening to do a basic self-care routine REALLY helped me, no matter how little sleep I'd had. And with baby #3 I amped this up because I found that filling up my cup first made me a better mom (and frankly, person), all day long. I'll be sharing the full routine on IG soon and will link the video here!

YOU’VE GOT THIS, MAMA!!!

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Your friendly reminder that this blog is not medical advice! This blog is for educational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. Consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if they seek medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment for you or your family.

Affiliate Disclosure: There are affiliate links in this post, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will be compensated if you click through and take action. These are all items that I purchased with my own money, or was gifted from my registry, so please know I am only recommending things I truly use.